The Ultimate Warrior and MME

I thought he was dead… Like up until five days ago when I worked as a loader for WWE’s Convention Center the past weekend for the 30th Annual WWE. I can’t remember where I saw it, maybe a list in the program of acceptance speeches for the Hall of Fame Inauguration, that he himself, Mr. James Brian Hellwig, was going to make a “speech”. Not to be remembered, but that he was going to talk. “Hey, guys guys, guys, umm, I don’t think the Ultimate Warrior is dead.”, I convinced my team. I now was promoted from pushing 3 tons carts into the building up to lighting rig. That’s an extra four dollars an hour. Loaders hardly have an education, and I’ll do anything to pick up extra gigs, being an artist and what not. “Man, let me see that.” My crew couldn’t believe it either. “He’s alive?!”… Now.
Growing up with a papaw who did nothing but drink beer, laugh, and make his grandkids watch WWF (it’s former name, thanks to World Wildlife. Save Pandas) EVERY Saturday night, EVERY Monday night, I think SUnday was Memphis Wrestling with Jerry the King Lawler hosting, my eighteen cousins and my older mean ass brother and I, well, when we weren’t in the dog bin digging holes to china with spoons, or slip and slide, we were wrestlers. Joey, my older brother, known as a trouble maker his whole life, was Hulk. I, on the other hand, no doubt, no question, or any hesitation, knew who I was and what I was in life; The Ultimate Fucking Warrior (sorry mom, meemaw swore. I think she’s smiling on me with the influential lad at me right now.)
Yes. I can vaguely remember much about life in our household. My brother kicking my ass, my parents yelling at him. Him yelling at me. Me kicking him in the balls and running real fast. It’s been thousands upon thousands of dollars on therapy, anger management classes, AA, and yoga retreats. The past in our family; not shiny. But the one thing, the one event, the one show stopping television show we could ALL get along and watch; Wrestle Mania. “Where is he, mom? Joey! Is he coming out yet?!” “Oh he’ll be here, little sis.” LIke, all of a sudden, we were like Leave it to Beaver or some shit. Bonding over sweat, steroids, and my favorite, neon tassels. Oh god I can remember him sprinting down the aisle. Shaking the crap out of the ropes. He drove me nuts (so nuts, I even learned stunts in 6th grade for Miracle Worker when I played Helen Keller, and continued to study in college under Lloyd Caldwell, and with a professional sword fighting and stunts team, S.F.I. in Los Angeles, CA under Brian Danner for two and a half years.) I’m NUTS about entertainers. NUTS about performers. NUTS about WWE Wrestling.
CRAZY NUTS for my favorite poofy mullet look-a-like, The Ultimate Warrior.
Bonding over the lights. Macho Man and Elizabeth (every single one of my baby dolls was named “Elizabeth”. Ask my mom.) My family ate popcorn, and for those 2-3 hours, we got along.
AND.
I’m seriously a red neck. I’m the only one out of 23 who went to college and can imitate any accent. Thanks, acting classes! So, I sound sophisticated to most even though deep deep inside, I’m white trash. Big time. And I love my family so so so much, cause we are all happy and love each other. Granted, they sound like po-dunk “Yous ain’t pertin dat moo-vie on no yer-tuerb or nothin, err ya?” like yeah. Everyone smokes cigarettes all the time and they have this ability to speak as it sits on their bottom lip for hours. Unlit.

So, that’s my past. Here’s what went down this past weekend after rigging lights at the convention center and on to the Super Dome(and if you don’t believe dreams come true, then this blog will do nothing for you because you have no soul and I don’t want you near me with your negative energy)
Dreams come true.
Not only did my beautiful white trash man friend and I look up and research Mr.Hellwig that he was alive (OH MY GOD!) I saw with my own eyes that he was alive! (cause I doubted), i GOT TO SEE THE MAN ON STAGE AT WRESTLE MANIA!
Yes, he was the size of lice I had in second grade, and the ones I got back from my Philippines trip (another story), but there he was. I was so excited because this cute ginger I was setting up lights with at the convention center and I got off work and wandered around this epic creation in the convention center of this marketing for the main event. There he was. In the Hall of Fame, “Excuse me, you to need to get out of here.” The lady in the glasses wouldn’t let us get a picture. BUt I knew I was going to see him.
There’s no other option for me. I AM him.
By luck, my great friend works on a reality TV show, “Total Divas” and asked me to be a production assistant aka, take out garbage task, airport runs, file paper, get organic milk for Brie Bella, drive Bria Bella around to tanning and pick up sushi. Yes, the dirty work. But oh my god, I don’t really know Brie Bella, but I will forever be her fan after meeting her and her brother and dad. All in production’s van carting around to here and there. (I was singing for her dad after picking him up from the airport and missed my exit. this performance moment lead me 30 minutes late for the rest of the day. It was worth it.)
So, next thing I know, I’m done for the day, I think I’m getting off work, and BOOM, “Get the walkies and get in the van.” Shit.What.Is.Going…..
VrooooooOOOOOoooOOOOoom….
“Uhm…. Hey….”
The van was intense. Everyone had their game face on. Putting black polos on. I was trying to mot have my eyes so red. I had three hours of sleep the day before……
“Uhm, where are we going?”
“You don’t know.” the camera guy says.
“I just got in the van….”
“seriously. you don’t know.” the producer says.
“No.”
“Hall of Fame.”
Holy shit, I didn’t wear make up? I didn’t wear my nice dress? What?!?!

We got asked to leave after a few minutes being there. WWE is not too keen on tv crews crowding the hallways. We’d be in the locker room for three hours if we stayed. . BUt I walked up and down the Smoothie King Center on missions. Grab a walkie. Direct a vehicle. Grab the bag I left on the ground. Wondering around. I was a mess. I’m a freaking FAN. Hulk Hogan just gimped past me. I am DOING MY BEST NOT T FREAK OUT AND EMBARRASS MY HOMIE WHO HOOKED ME UP ON THIS GIG. KEEP IT TOGETHER, ANNIE YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL.
I keep walking, see Jerry “The KIng” Lawler.
“Hey, jerry, it’s me, Annie! We did “King of the Ring’ together.”
“Oh yeah…!” He recognizes me.
“I’m the chick with the long blonde wig and you told me in the most professional way to, ‘rub my chest hair’.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqHmwZa4RJY

“Yes, hey how are you?” He realizes I’m crew by the walkie filming out of my ear. Crew. His eyes gaze around, shaking my hand, making sure no one spots him talking to a crew member. I know I look shitty in these too big black pants I got at a clothing swap, held by a rusty safety pin. My hair is a mop, my eyeliner running. You can tell when your exit cue is. But he acknowledged me, just in time for a line producer to put my ass in check. I’m telling you, I was not a sane person to depend on. I was a million annies scattered amongst legends. Beaded gowns and botox, peacocks ready for the lights. “We don’t do that here,” I could tell the producer was trying to be nice, like I didn’t know, but I knew not to talk to the talent.
“Oh. It’s not like that. We did a movie together. We are from Memphis.”
“oh. Yeah?…ok.” Jerry sort of smiled at her, reassuring that I wasn’t a weird fan. Which I am.  As long as I didn’t do it again, I’d be fine. Which I didn’t, cause none of the other celebrities did a 5 minute short film with me for Live! From Memphis short film competition (which my film Spirit Guide won, uh umm) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hqHFHVXa-s the them was “Ryhmes with Pelvis”

 

Wow, you’ve never seen such plastic upon boob jobs, upon spray tan, upon real leather tan, upon lips out two inches, sequins, and dudes actually shorter in real life… No one smiled, I think they were saving their face muscles for the ceremony.

Needless to say.
I was very moved my Brie’s family, motivating me to go for my dreams on the van rides “You are Beautiful. I tell my daughters that every day, you should tell yourself that, too.”
I am beautiful.
I am a singer.
I can’t wait for one day to be the talent that the crew is so excited to see.
We left Hall of Fame. I still couldn’t speak.
And then, the following night, I went on the best date ever, parked under the overpasses, walking next to the freeway on a pedestrian walk, going up the ramp a few stories, and landing in the nose bleed seats. My date went for nachos. Hall of Famers came on. Mr.T. The Undertakers’ manager. Jake the Snake. Razor Raymond. And. My hero. The Ultimate Warrior.
Behold the sight of light and life. My childhood fantasies. All our fantasies in the crowd. We were all there. We were all moved. Black, white, poor, poorer, ugly, fat, young, beautiful, snobby, a stick up their ass (thanks couple in front of us), all of us. Mexicans speaking behind us, world travelers.
I was there. This was magic. This was history.
“I’m about to be twelve again,” our random buddy we brought along squealed to me. This guy is a cook who drinks and says nothing at the bar, always at the bar watching tv… Now, he is my brother. Now. We are like kids. Now, we are legends. High Fiving. “The Undertaker LOST!?!?” Even the stick up her ass chick in front was booing….
Best night of my life.

Next day on facebook, my friend and local news reporter, Kenny Lopez posted a pic of him and the late Hellwig’s daughters and wife, “I use to babysit Ultimate Warriors kids in summer camp in Santa Fe” I was excited!! “Amazing, I’m so happy!”
And the next post, “R.I.P., Ultimate Warrior 😦 😦 :(”
No.
It can’t be.
A tale that has been buried for twenty years and up from the grave is placed back down?! I called my reality tv buddy, “Yeah, it’s real. We thought it was another Undertaker fake death, but the executive producer told me, ‘no, it’s for real.’
2 days after wrestle mania. This was the most memorable ever.”

I can’t believe it.
BUt I do. Maybe my energy of him being deceased had already caused it. Maybe not. Maybe my mind is more powerful that this doubt that has been soaking it. Maybe I am that strong. Maybe I can fight. Maybe I will.
Maybe I’ll become my OWN warrior, my half Italian, part Irish Cherokee mutt inside of me will ROAR and run into the hearts of fans. Maybe if I believe in myself enough, I can jump start heart beats, slinging the ropes up and down. Maybe, just maybe, I can have my own reality TV show and marry a hot hippy guy in New Mexico (or leave that with Brie, that can be hers) http://www.eonline.com/shows/total_divas/news/519924/total-divas-brie-bella-talks-bohemian-wedding-with-wwe-superstar-daniel-bryan  Maybe just maybe, I’m tough enough for this destiny, whatever it maybe to my choosing.
Maybe I will sing. Maybe I will rule the world with stunts and compassion. Maybe I will finish this web series and musical afteral. Maybe I can achieve it. I think I can.
Inside of us is a warrior, dancing, sprinting out like a dark horse into the hearts of all people. Maybe I can entertain just as deeply with my eye glasses and 13-year-old-boy hair cut, ready for hairspray and hot pink strings. Small boobs, and big mouth.
Maybe just maybe.
The Ultimate Warrior is in me. And in you.
Maybe, just maybe, we can go back to the days of being kids, getting dirty, not worrying about college or which husband will make me happy, no money, just beating each other up and icing the bruises down as meemaw bakes more cookies in the oven.
Maybe, just maybe, we can go BACK to that memory, and not go back, but let it take us forward.
Maybe. If we believe. We can fucking do it.
Just got work.
And keep the dream alive.

Thank you, James. You will always be an inspiration to me and so many others.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/2014/04/09/wwe-says-the-ultimate-warrior-dead-at-54/7495659/

Getting Bored is Entertaining.

You can go crazy from boredom in an office. Pandora music station can only play for so many hours until it repeats. You can only look up Facebook statuses for so long until you become a creepy stalker person. What must one do to keep from going insane? Clicker media makes it easy for you to look around at all the hundreds of web media your little bored heart can handle while at work.  Looking at over thousands of links a day, I can honestly say that I have been around the block, and these are the best of the best for entertainment, while not going overboard on the boss’s dime.

Green Porno Rules! Oh my gosh, this web series featuring the great Isabella Rossellini, shows you the mating, the sex, and the love of the creatures of the earth!  Each little show is about two minutes each, just enough to take a break from punching in numbers and going to a cute, imaginative, and an oddly sexy world!

Babelgum!! I highly recommend this site for browsing during the day, you have the selection from Sea Diving, humor, Sci-Fi, to music. Also, check out some minor humor kids make fun of Jersey Shore is always a plus. But for the more intellectual, fun traveling music lover, Road Trippin with Ice Cream Man is stellar! There’s over 40 episodes, this plays nicely in the background as you do your computer work, the Ice Man goes all around the states, here he goes to my hometown of Memphis Tennessee! Music, interviews with Indie musicians, this ice cream adventure will surely get you out of the office while you are at your desk, let’s travel!!

Funny Frederator Choose any of the short cartoon comic bits, keep the ball rolling of laughter, forget that lunch was only five minutes ago, these episodes are sure to make the day go by faster! Clicker’s got all episodes!

real annoying orange If you have 4 minutes of your life to waste while the copies are being printed this may just suite you. The name is in the title, you may not be able to finish the episode, but my Holy banana, this has GOT to be the most hilarious, most lame thing I have ever seen. Genuis!

Get Some Knowledge Nat Geo Style! Yep! It can’t just be all annoying oranges and cartoons, you gotta get your dose of education with the best of the best documentary about the world, National Geographic. Learn about the Great Migration, kids getting busted abroad, Ocean Explorations, you need your mind to expand from out of that cubicle. Get your word on, knowledge is more power than any job you’ll have 🙂

Okay, lastly, Rocky Movies are the most motivating flicks for me. When I can’t drink anymore coffee, I simply go online to Clicker and watch Rocky trailers to wake up and conquer the day. You can download all the movie trailers Clicker has to offer, (there’s like, thousands upon thousands of movies!) When you can’t leave the office for two hours to catch a flick, relax and catch the best parts with their previews! Perfect for movie buffs, great on time so you aren’t wasting the boss’s dime!

Enjoy some entertainment in your day, give me some feed back on any more sites Clicker can offer to make your long day a bit more exciting xox

iHateNorthernMenInSantaMonica

I don’t think it is polite to say “hate” in any form or matter, but I must, I must get your attention about how much I did not enjoy my time in Santa Monica last night.

Apparently it was the “Glow” party, and I passed the gallery party off of Hollywood Blvd with some live music and paintings (which was a GREAT opportunity to help out with this new small business) AND missed my Aussie friends spin records at The Bar on Bronson and Sunset, also fun epic time with my friend Steve… All for what? Jersey Shore meets Republicans? I cannot believe my actions, and I’m sure these dudes did not mind me skipping out once I knew the evening was gonna suck, but I stick with my clan. Mom said, “You live and you learn, trial and error. Next time, tell them you have diarrhea and ya gotta get rid of it, and if they have any more  questions, tell em THEY ARE the diarrhea.”

So, i don’t know how to sound not mean, I met this hunk of a lover, we will say Denver, via my best girl whom I’m in love with. This girl is no like any other girl you will meet, okay, she is a mystery, she is hot, she tap dances in the desert and sings in a brass band, I cannot emphasize on the beauty of this creature. Long hair, big butt, little waist, I just want to write about how wonderful she is instead of this dude she introduced me to… But keep in mind, this is quite possibly the best looking man I’ve ever, uh uhm, delt with. Sea blue eyes, tan, tall, handsome, considerate, it just all went to shit when he hangs out with his best friend. We will call him Dale. Now, these two dudes are best of friends. Why Denver is friends with Dale, i will never know. Mates since grade school. (I never trust people who introduce themselves as “grade schooler friends” Much has happened in between.) Dale, my readers, has turned Denver, a 1 month old newbie from up north, into a Santa Monica Lover.

WHAT IS A SANTA MONICA LOVER? Well, anyone who loves Santa Monica loves keeping up with their hair cut, shoes are always worn on the beach, and working out it crucially in front of prayer. Vitamins are more important than opening doors for old people and dating is just a facebook status or a photo tag. A Santa Monica Lover has fashion designed by the newest Banana Republic window and makes fun of American Appearal for going out of business, because the stock market app is right there on their fucking iphone, which they cannot live without. A Santa Monica Lover loves Santa Monica sooooo much, that they can’t wait on the ONLY girl they are with, to pee while they walk around to another Santa Monica bar, only to look around and text some more. The goal for a Santa Monica Lover is to find as many women as they can manipulate to go home with them. They text often and love to engage in lame arguments over bets, so lame, i pushed them out of my memory because I dont want to bore you. They love business, and are trying to start one of their very own right around the corner, probably something a corporation would want to buy out, like leather ipod holders. Comes in yellow for nano, so people know how much smaller your gadget is then theirs. Parents sort of like them, therapy is high on the list, but nothing the beach and a good yoga workout cant deal. Women are only for arm candy, relationships are not important, but beer specials are. Dont forget your hair product that doesnt look like hair product.

Okay, so I’m looking at my title, and I am forgetting one major thing: Both men, hottie and douche bag, are both from up north, ruining Los Angeles’ reputation to having good people living here. i thought I REALLY wanted to move to NY, but judging by these clowns, i never want to set foot up there. I mean, seriously, you couldn’t wait on me to pee? Yes, I like older men, I like all ages all sexes of people (races, I have my flavors, thank you) and I expressed to my dates that older men are better, just because I dont want to teach while I’m kissing, and I don’t like to split the bill these days. I couldn’t keep another conversation without them saying, “Oh, thats because you dont like guys my age” well, idiot, I just dont like you. I hate it when people take something you say, and twist it up into an old dog’s terd. It was funny, I’m talking, but it is only to amuse you while we hike fucking 20 blocks to the pier. And on top of that Santa Monica Lovers like to be early for things, not late and have fun, but actually get there ahead of time to hang out with kids and their parents at the “most epic party on the shore.” My ass has had more fun sitting on a Greyhound bus.

I hated my night. I couldnt smoke enough to escape the constant consumed feeling that one of these dudes was going to try to fuck me. I just got off a weekend bender with a Dutchman in Manhatten Beach, why is this happening? I’m missing Alex at The Bronson Bar! I stick with my guns, keep trucking with these guys, we pick up another loud mouthed inconsiderate, “pussy” talking fellow, at Vice, a fancy hotel in SM with short skirted girls that have nothing to do with anything but their lip gloss application. These dudes suck. All they like to do is get their way.

So, we get a taxi at the Hotel, and make friends with the driver, Anthony. These guys invite Anthony to the Hollywood Hills party, where none of my friends are, and offered not to pay this man on his busiest night at Santa Monica. “Yo, if you want to come to a party, it will be the most amazing time of your life, but turn the meter off” He actually did it. Needless to say, this cab driver was my favorite character of the night. He was a little weird, I would never be alone with him, and  taught him how to eat sushi. He wouldn’t stop following me after that. Pool party with no one in the pool, Shannon Daughtry’s old house, beautiful and perfectly fung shuied. Perfection weirds me out. In a serious way.

So, after the hollywood hills party, we go back to Santa Monica, Anthony is handing out cards, Dale is snickering to me, the loving woman hippy person, “Ha, he thinks we like him, what a loser”, yea, he’s that cool folks, putting down people who gave you a huge favor. I wonder what he is saying about me, “Man, that chick Annie was a bitch, she was so weird, singing all the time, engaging with people. What a loser.” Yea, I am a loser for ever ever driving to Santa Monica for a beach party which was lame, only to drive their douche bag friend home. No one was laid, everyone was miserable because they had their way, and their way sucked assholes from afar. Wheesh, I’m supposed to be a childrens book writer, whatever. The way these men degraded women, I dont want to get into. I seriously put my voice in, 4 men in a car, 3 northern, the other weird (but on my side) telling me how stupid women are, and how flakey they can be. “Ya’ll need to keep this to yourselves.” “Why, YOU don’t think women are flakey and childish, look at you, Miss One Hour Late. ” “Listen, I am Italian, German, and Cherokee, I’m not just a woman, you need to respect me in this hybrid cab and shut the fuck up.” No respect. Thats what i get for not researching my penalties. I did enjoy the pier late at night, even Zodar the fortune teller from Big told me to smile. The Air Hockey was stellar, and it was fun being a dude, but wearing a tight mini dress clearly stated I was simply eye candy and my opinions didnt matter. How could Denver be such an asshole? Getting dudes around their friends really shows their character. That, and I NEVER  EVER go to Santa Monica for fun. Ever. Maybe I was just pissed I was missing my night on the town, because Denver had been on again off again texting me to hang at this party for the past month. Getting his way and I not mine. He was amazing in bed and is a beautiful soul, until you get him to start talking about Jersey Shore “T- Shirt time!” I dont know what that is, but I’m feeling lamer by the second.

Next time, dont seek new faces in Santa monica, because they are all going to be perfectly shaven or on the number scale for the electric razor to make it look like they didnt care about shaving, but you know they did. If you are reading this, and I wrote about you (because you probably are sitting there on your iphone, looking at random shit and not enjoying life) please note that this experience has never happened to me before, nor will i ever allow it to again. So, thank you for showing me a good time, it was good, I did like the night time ocean and families, but how could you compare a life guard stand with a foam machine on top, compared to Burning Man art? I’m not that hard to please just please ask me what i want to do. Getting talked into bad things I thought was just for the birds, back in 8th grade. How did this happen again? Ew. But all in all, I dont think they give two rats asses about me anyways, so who fucking cares what I write these days. I just wanted to vent, my friends are tired of me complaining. Diarrhea. Totally.

Maybe I’m just too dirty for Santa Monica.

a million annie’s epic birthday show, at Cranes 3/10

You wanted to be entertained, didn’t you?

You wanted a sweet salty taste of Memphis in Hollywood, right?

You had to be summoned by one of the most entertaining of the entertainers, huh?

You wanted it, and it was served with a side order of slaw. flyers.

a million annies ePIC birthday show

I made flyers and posted an event on facebook you can go and see on annies facebook page for my show. I rocked on my birthday. simple as that. No cake, just a special muffin from Trip. No candles, I got all the light I need right in my heart.

“A Million Annies” came from much stalking on Myspace, back when it was cool. A Million Annies MySpace page, that’s where you can find a cool song Jeff Pope produced.  The name is very suitable for quite the Swiss Army Knife of Entertainers, Annie G. Known in the local film community as “Smilin Anne”, name of the character played in “On Holiday”, a film by Brian McGuire, featuring John Hawkes and more epic cast members.

Wow, I just went on a tangent about myself, and I tried to keep it cool. It’s 5:23a.m., I’ve been touching up photos from the birthday gig since 7pm. Which is why I’m writing this blog. The fact that I am becoming an epic photographer AND I can say that after 20 years of singing musicals, karaoke, and choir, I am an absolute rock  star. Where’s the modesty? It’s with the Mouse. I’m tired of not taking my talents and running with them. I’m tired of being quiet.

It all started last year at Cranes Hollywood Tavern, my “Fishy Fishy Swim Swim Party 69th Day of the Year”, where I just sang Fleetwood Mac and “Wild Horses” by The Rolling Stones. My boyfriend at the time, D Henry Fenton played acoustic guitar as my dear friend and bad-ass singer/songwriter, Jesse Cole played lead guitar. It was… fun. But this year I wanted it to be epic, I wanted all of Hollywood to see how amazing or stupid I am. I wanted God to point me in the right path, “Here, Annie, Go for it…” or “See? You need to find a job, it’s just not working out for you on the stage.”

So, I wrote a sad country song named Daddy Dont Drink, with the help of D Henry Fenton, who is working on his new album. He’s got the biggest soul, and knows all the right-hearted people. His songs are why I dated him. “Daddy” was played at the Epic Birthday Show, and I must say, I think I’ve got something. Something which only needs some water, some love, and some fans. It’s epic. EPIC, EPIC, EPIC to sing for people about a matter that hurts in your life. In your busy life of bar diving and taking pictures of bands, it’s nice to know that your gifts are heard at the end of the day. Daddy Don\’t Drink by Annie Gaia

That was the only original song of the night. I just wanted something that the Mitchells Folly boys didn’t have to rehearse on more than an hour, which really was all the time we needed. Houston Wages writes good songs, go check him out. He and Jesse Cole are both from my hometown of Memphis, but I met him in LA.Glendale Centre TheatreThe boys can pick up fast AND kick ass at it. We rehearsed at their house in Eagle Rock, but I call it “Eagle Cock.” I use to hate that they moved so far, but when i got a  place in Los Feliz with a Marine (yes, blog about that one next time, seriously film material), the drive is only 7 minutes.”Eagle Cock” is fun to say. Anyways, I’m just ranting, I don’t know how these blogs are supposed to be, so screw you.

The other songs as in the set, beginning with “That’s Alright Momma” by Elvis (I was in Judith Mishugina attire, my 90-year-old Jewish character I perform stand-up in around LA and Memphis, but took off the wig, too hot under the silver trench coat mom mailed me). My cast members tell me that they had no idea I could sing, but when I opened my mouth for the low sassy blues song, they were floored. Done and one.  After Elvis was Willie. The band got Staxy in our remake of “Shotgun Willie”. I had to change the last verse, a bit on the racy side. The trench coat was off and we reveal Epic Outfit #1: The June Carter dress, white high-collared and long balloon sleeves for the top portion, with an every flowing colorful flower design for the bottom portion. It’s still in a bag in my trunk actually. Crap, I gotta get organized, that was 5 days ago. Shit.

Song #3 was the only original song on in the set, Daddy Dont Drink. It made my girl, Nikki, cry, she knows the back story, we have the same birthday. We had to lighten the mood up, so what better way to do it then with more Elvis. But you can’t dance with a long epic Carter gown on, now can you? Hell no, it’s an epic show, clothes must be taken off!!!! So I got Luke to play something slow and bluesy on the drums while I got the audience to participate in “Bow chicka bow wows” to help me unzip and get hip. They had to be loud.

What better way then to dance a tease dance? “Daddy” is a depressing song about alcoholism, you have to go somewhere else, like WHY we drink alcohol in the first place… to take our clothes off! So, they sang, and I came out of the cocoon  June dress and became an Italian sparkle of a butt-er fly. See the photos, my ass is looking awesome, thank you,___! (Not plugging you, b/c the pants weren’t free.) During”Jailhouse Rock”, my butt was a disco ball, my black corsette and bra from an estate sale in Orange County, were looking hot. My luscious fake eye lashes I wear as Katty in “Pinocchio” at Glendale Centre Theatre were battin and winkin at all the boys, they loved them some Smilin Anne! I got on the dance floor, the crowd was young, the regualar Beachwood Canyon Rockers… They were in fact-my friends. It was an early bird show, at 9, I don’t even go to cranes until after 11. All the way from Vesper Theatre Company to G.C.T., to the younger brothers and sisters from the band members, I had a lovely crowd. Most importantly, the amazing and mystical Sabrina Vedetche appeared and I danced with her during Elvis.

Soon, others followed. (Sabrina was the friend whom took me from Burning Man to LA when I missed my ride back to Memphis. That’s how I got here in the first place. Another blog)

After  “Jailhouse” was another favorite of mine, “Wild Horses” by The Rolling Stones.  Jim Dickinson passed away this year, I thought I’d pay homage to the legendary Memphian musician. The backup singers came onstage. Both girls have long, heavy locks of curls, and leopard print. Jesse started playing the electric guitar, and by playing, I mean he made the thing cry.

Smilin Anne has a hold on you

I thought it was too slow. The crowd was uber quiet, I figured they were bored. Houston Wages sang back up as well, I had like, a freaking choir of the most amazing singers in the world with me. Not kidding you, man, these people do it for a living. I can’t say the names of the backup singers, but I will tell you they are hot and live in Nashville, they flew in for the holiday. With the crowd quiet and Houston on                                                    the $2 keyboard I bought at a yard sale after the wrap party for “On Holiday”, I figured I go fairly country, and not “sing” the song, but tell them about the heart ache. I’s wail on the chorus, making my throat horse and tear-jerkin. The song was so sweet. Then the audience roared, they were totally silent during the song, then a huge “WOOOOO” came over the world. Man, I had no idea people were still in the room. Crane’s is really dark and red, hard to see, but they were there. And oh man, I was feeling it.

Last but not least, “Crazy” by Gnarles Barkley. I raped it. The band gripped the base, hit the beat, and bumped the drums. Dude. It was pretty ridiculous. “I remember when, I remember I remember when I lost my mind.” I figured I’d be as black, or as “African American” as I could be. I shock my ass, then they danced. A bit on the republican side for a crowd, but they fucking loved it! The director for “On Holiday” Brian McGuire and director of “Everything Must Happen Before You Die” Dan Finkel licked their lips and bobbed their heads to my spell I was casting.

Everything Will Happen Before You Die facebook page

On Holiday Facebook pageWay better then being casted, although I love making movies, so rock star and movie star are both on my to-do list, it’s just a matter of letting God take control.

I’m pretty happy, Cranes’s Hollywood Tavern is THE place for fresh, amazing music.

Cranes Hollywood Tavern The line ups are stellar, I do have amazing talented friends. And judging by what all the girls that came, the band is probably the hottest looking group of guys you’d ever see. The girls who came were coming. Ha! But they are my buds, and my buds are sweet, humble, and gifted. Big kids with an adult agenda, who believe in the power of beer and a guitar. They don’t like it when I post pictures and shit, but the better I’m becoming at photography, the more they sort of stay still for me to snap a shot.

“Shot Gun Willie sits around in his underwear!” woo hooo!

So, a million annies ePIC birthday show show was indeed a success. I had all groups of friends there, and my closest ones on stage with me, performing. How epical is that? Huh? Huh?! Dude! The band actually thought I did “pretty good” as Jesse said, with a smile and a nod.   That’s all you need from the genius. Henry even said he’d play in my band. Imagine that? My ex whom  I always wanted to sing back up to, but he got the hot bartender to do so instead, then I broke up with him, and now he wants to be back up for me? Yes! I am no back up singer, I am the frontman.

All it took was a small look in my Jesus Calling book, “The plans I have for you are unimaginable.” This was the best gift mother has ever given me. Every day, a devotional. Every day, I know I am loved. Every day, I am not worried about being jobless… well, that’s sometimes laziness. My it is 6:09am, and it is Sunday. I wanted to got to church at 9. Man, I hate not sleeping, all I do is edit photos. But I will pst them, so you can enjoy! But what’s even cooler than an ice latte spilling in your lap is the fact that people want to see another show. How exciting is that? But fewer covers and more originals. It’s gotta be clean and it’s gotta be epic. So off off with your head, I got some work to do so i can entertain the world.

long live the Epicness of your Imagination.

This Blog will self-destruct in 2 minutes.

xo Annie

Oh! check out annies amazing Vesper Theatre Company, totally amazing, I mean, if you’ve gone this far, you should go ahead and see some more fun things. Man, i really set this up easy for a stalker. ew… maybe this blog thing wasn’t such a good idea.

okay, now it is 11:11 am, I seriously have a new addiction.

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!